LYNSAY SANDS THE ACCIDENTAL VAMPIRE PDF

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Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Other editions. Enlarge cover. Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black's been catching her z's in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic.

She knows there's more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula , but she can't very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she'd meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any woman - dead or alive. Rich, powerful, and drop—dead gorgeous, Victor's the perfect man for a novice neck—biter like Elvi.

He's willing to teach her everything he knows, but he'll have to do it fast. Someone's out to put a stake through her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safe - and satisfied - for all eternity. Get A Copy. Mass Market Paperback , pages. More Details Original Title. Port Henry Canada. Other Editions Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about The Accidental Vampire , please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about The Accidental Vampire. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 4. Rating details. More filters.

Sort order. Start your review of The Accidental Vampire Argeneau 7. These books are pure cheesy vamp romance with a big helping of smut on the side. And, this one had a lot of stupid people that were entertaining as can be.

That would be Elvii. She was turned without knowing what, how, or absolutely anything about vampire stuff. She never knew her sire, so she has basically had to figure this whole thing out by herself. Let's just say that I'm not exactly sure how El These books are pure cheesy vamp romance with a big helping of smut on the side. Let's just say that I'm not exactly sure how Elvi has survived being a human for as long as she has, and there ARE plenty of manuals on that.

Elvi is an idiot. Well, at least she doesn't swear She figured that the best way to learn how to be a vampire is by watching the old Dracula movie. Really, Elvi?? I mean, seriously, she could have done better watching Twilight. So, for the past 5 years, she has been sleeping in a coffin full of dirt, dressing like Morticia Adams, stayed away from religious artifacts, avoided sunlight like the plague, got rid of every mirror in her house, and hasn't eaten. Her name is not even Elvi!

She changed it from Ellen to sound vampier. I mean, yes, it would have been helpful if she had a mentor. Someone to teach her how to vamp I mean, we did have parents teach us to human. Some do a better job than others.. But, still Never even tried a bite of food. Never tried to look in a mirror. Never tried sleeping in a bed. So much stupid And, came up with the most epic thing to ever hit the television since Schoolhouse Rock. Especially the adverb song. By living like an idiot, Elvi has also mistakenly broken many vampire laws.

Such as the number one law of: "don't out us, dude! In other words, telling the entire town where you live that you are a vampire, and letting them speak freely about it is probably a bad idea.

Plus, you know that there is always one in every group that is just waiting to pick up the torch and pitchfork with a wooden stake in their hand. I also need a new dress, some motor oil, bullets for my gun, and a birthday cake. How great is Walmart? Victor is a vampire who is on the council - the vamp government. He is sent to check out what the hell is going on when there is an ad in the paper with a vamp girl looking for her one true love.

Vamps only. No smokers or fatties. He shows up in town to find out that he is only Bachelor Number One in this scenario. There are a few more male vamps looking for a good time. It quickly becomes the Paranormal Bachelorette, so these dudes need to bring their A-game. Along with maps, magic, and flags?

All of those things suck. So, this book has a lot of silly fun in it. I liked all of the characters, even if they weren't the brightest bulbs in the pack. I am hoping maybe some of the discarded bachelors end up with books later, so I'll be on the lookout for those. View all 14 comments. Jan 15, Jessica rated it did not like it. Oh boy, oh boy. My first real paranormal romance -- not YA, not vampire hunting with a side of relationship, but an honest-to-goodness real-live romance novel.

I read it on the way to Chicago. Ah, the eternal question: where the [insert expletive of choice:] are the editors? I spend a lot of time wondering this. I see movies like, for example, The Da Vinci Code, and am astonished that apparently, in every single stage of production, everyone involved failed to notice -- and remark upon -- the fact Oh boy, oh boy. I see movies like, for example, The Da Vinci Code, and am astonished that apparently, in every single stage of production, everyone involved failed to notice -- and remark upon -- the fact that "This can't be this -- the fleur de lis!

Honestly, people, you all failed. What scriptwriter thought this was a good line? Why didn't the editor smack some sense into him? Didn't Tom Hanks notice that this tortured syntax was awkward to say, not to mention an untenable abuse of the English language, when he had to wrap his tongue around it? Why was the director okay with it? Getting back to novels, I may blink at one or two grammatical mistakes or run-on sentences or really, really lousy pieces of dialogue, but I accept that even the best authors occasionally have brain blips and even the best editors can't catch everything.

But when it happens on practically every page, I start to get annoyed. I figured, oh hey! They're not taking themselves too seriously! This can't be that excruciating! Le sigh.

AQEEDAH TAHAWIYYAH ARABIC PDF

Book Review – The Accidental Vampire by Lynsay Sands

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DIN 51605 PDF

The Accidental Vampire : An Argeneau Novel

This title could, of course, change. In fact, it probably will. They seem to like to give all my Argeneau books Bite titles at Avon. I had great fun with this story. The story idea itself came about because I received several e-mails from older readers complaining that all the heroines were younger. I thought to myself, hmmmm….

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The Accidental Vampire

Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black's been catching her z's in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic. She knows there's more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula, but she can't very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbours placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she'd meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any woman—dead or alive. Rich, powerful, and drop—dead gorgeous, Victor's the perfect man for a novice neck—biter like Elvi. He's willing to teach her everything he knows, but he'll have to do it fast. Someone's out to put a stake through her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safe—and satisfied—for all eternity.

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The Accidental Vampire : Book Seven

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